Meetings – we’ve all been there. They can be useless, energy-sucking wastes of time or they can be a platform for lively discussion, the exchange of interesting ideas and efficient decision-making.

Unfortunately, the first type is far more common than the second. And the blame mostly lies at the feet of the people who preside over these exercises in boredom and frustration.

Frankly, there are far too many business leaders and managers who don’t know how to manage meetings, and the lack of these skills is an expensive liability for their companies. Think about the cost of labour involved in the time people spend in meetings, and the lack of productivity when nothing is decided.

But if you learn how to run meetings well, your value to your company will soar.

Here are my personal “lucky 13” ideas to keep meetings alive and participants awake..

1. The meeting leader should contribute NO opinions

The person leading the meeting has the most power in the room. If you are running a team meeting, and you’re also the boss, you are doubly powerful. If you make your opinions known from the front of the room, you may wonder why no one else is talking.

As the meeting leader, you should be neutral and focus on the process of running the meeting, not on adding your own content. If you have strong opinions about the topics being discussed, ask someone else to facilitate so you can add your voice.

Better still, rotate the responsibility of leading meetings with everyone on your team, and watch the energy level perk up.

2. Have an agenda

You might think this is stating the obvious, but I am always amazed at how many meetings I attend that don’t have agendas. Always email a proposed agenda the day before, then give structure and focus to the meeting by reviewing the agenda and agreeing on its content at the top of the meeting.

3. Establish and uphold the ‘Rules of Engagement’

At your next meeting, ask your team what ground rules they would like to establish to keep meetings on track and to discourage negative, counter-productive behaviour. These “Rules of Engagement” can cover areas such as time limits for agenda items, freedom to speak out on sensitive issues, what to do about technology (cell phones, laptops) and methods for resolving disagreements.

Be sure to explore the details of whatever ground rules the group establishes through questions such as “What kinds of behaviours would make our meetings run well?” “What does everyone think of this suggestion?” “What might make this rule difficult to uphold?” and “What would make it safe for everyone to speak out?”

Post the rules on a flip chart for everyone to see. If you are running conference-call meetings, email the rules to everyone involved and refer to them if a meeting starts to go off the rails.

4. Start with an icebreaker

Lead with a quick icebreaker so that people can learn more about each other, have fun and start the meeting off positively. A few of my favourites are:

• What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
• Tell us about your name (how you got your name, nicknames)
• Tell us three things about yourself, two of which are true and one is a lie. As a group, let’s figure out which one is the lie.

Try asking team members to share the responsibility for leading the icebreaker.

5. Ask for success and failure stories

As much as success stories buoy confidence, failure stories are good teachers. During meetings, allow people to talk about their failures without making them feel foolish or marginalized. I’ve trained many of my clients to think of “failing forward” to take the sting out of their revelations.

6. Stop being an air hog

Resist the temptation to lecture or be the expert. Your job is to make sure that people are participating, not just listening to you. Everyone in the room has ideas and opinions they’d like to share. Keeping your personal air time to 40% or less will give them the space to do so. Ideas 7 and 8 will help you to close your mouth and open your mind.

7. Ask more open-ended questions

Open-ended questions can’t be answered with just a “yes” or “no.” They start with “what,” “how,” “tell me about,” or “explain” and elicit much more information. For example, “What does quality mean to you?” or “How would you implement that idea?”

8. Count to 10

Wait a full 10 seconds after asking your questions. If there is no response, rephrase or ask your question again. Manage your impulse to break the silence (hard to do and takes practice). Someone will feel compelled to speak, and then your discussion will take off.

9. Give verbal reinforcement

Use encouraging phrases such as “Thank you,” “I’m pleased you brought that up” or “We’re off to a good start” when meeting participants speak up. This reinforces their involvement, not the content of what they said.

Resist the urge to add a judgment such as “great idea” or “excellent”. You run the risk of saying this only to some people. Those who don’t get your “high five” response will notice and stop participating.

10. Use small group discussions

Find ways to get people talking to each other in your meeting rather than only interacting with you. For instance, you could ask the group to: “Take a few minutes and ask the person next to you how they might use this idea.” Each duo would then report back to the entire group.

11. Defer to the group

Rather than responding to and answering questions yourself, let the meeting participants offer their expertise. You could say: “What about it, group?” “What is important about having a standard way to follow up with our customers?” or “What would be difficult about implementing this?”

Then let the group decide as a whole which ideas they’ll use. If people have a hand in deciding policies or procedures, they have more of a stake in seeing them work.

12. Use “the silent brainstorm”

To generate a lot of ideas, pose a question and give people one or two minutes to write down their ideas before sharing them. Don’t let anyone call out ideas prematurely; you will get more and better responses.

13. Make a decision in every meeting

I read an interesting article in Business Week magazine about how companies gain competitive advantage. The leading organizations require that every single meeting end with at least one decision. Taking more actions also means making more mistakes, but it’s well worth it.

Try implementing these suggestions…and you’ll distinguish yourself while driving higher engagement.